By Alberto Pupo
Well as the Republican Convention continues, I received via email a very curious message. Apparently a source from the convention got a hold of Romney’s speech at the Convention. Naturally curiousity has gotten ahold of us so below is a draft of Romney’s upcoming speech.
My fellow Republicans, Let me start off by saying what an honor is to have been nominated.
I personally thought I would not be here before you guys, but I made it. Now we are approaching a defining moment. Our economy is broken, our society is in ruins and most importantly we need to stand up and make a better America for those at the top! Those who would be job creators, those who are Capitan’s of Industry I Mitt Romney am looking forward on ensuring a more prosperous America for the 1% on the top.
Our Nation, has unfortunately been faced with mediocrity. Too much over reliance on a government. America is tough, America is all about ingenuity and picking yourself up by the bootstraps. I Mitt Romney have a plan to create a society that lives up to that reputation. America should run and function like the grandest of all Corporations. Wit the help of Mr. Ryan our Administration will be one based upon the visions and ideals of the Founding Fathers. A society built for the fittest, ruled by the fittest.
A society which rewards Corporations for the boon that they provide and the jobs they create. Because yes my friends Corporations are indeed people. (Cue raucous applause).
The Romney plan is simple the first thing is to do away with taxation for the top bracket. The reason behind this is simple. We are the job creators, as job creators we need to be free of tax liability to work our magic. I intend to do away with income taxes for the top 1% of Americans and to negligible 5% for the 2-5 % of our Nation. We will do away with the Estate tax, taxes on capital gains and of course no taxes for Corporations.
Some will ask how will government be funded, well firstly government will be very limited its only function will be for defense against foreign attacks, homeland security, immigration and corporate subsidies. Any other programs will be cut and all funds diverted into the functions mentioned.
To help support the vast increase in Defense and homeland security spending we will institute the Patriot Tax. Middle Class Americans in a sense of duty to God and Country will be taxed at a rate of 45%, this is done so that we can continue to have a secure environment and carry forth with the world’s strongest military.
The reason the top 5% of Americans and Corporations should not be taxed is simple. Because they made it and earned it sustaining them is the least the middle class can do. Having no tax liability is also an incentive that the rest of Americans can look forward to as they strive to achieve the American dream of financial independence. Government is not the answer, you are the answer.
While on the subject of wealthy people I want to add about the strengthening of Corporate Rights. To many people are decrying the Citizens United Decision. A shame because it is the finest decision made by our Supreme Court since deciding the 2000 elections rightly. This decision has allowed for corporations to come out of the shadows if you will and fully be heard. Corporations are people, and money is and will always be speech period. I Mitt Romney will further strengthen Corporate Rights, by Passing the Corporations are People Act. This law will fully give corporations the same constitutional rights as a person for just about anything. No more will corporations be disparaged they will even gain a right to vote at the ballot box. Being a CEO has taught me that the Corporation is our National Treasure and Without it America would have never become the Nation that it is today.
Now I know there many who support me and unfortunately have not made it into the top brackets themselves. I For these individuals I can assure you we have something for you as well in a Mitt Romney America. Imagine a society that lives up to your biblical standards. A society free of immorality, free of gay marriage, free of atheism and disbelief, free of abortions. We need to protect all life. This is is something you can look forward and I Mitt Romney promise to create most moral America ever.
My fellow Republicans the message I will bring forth is a simple one. Protect the interests of the wealthy job creators, so that we can all prosper, Ensure that we have the most powerful military and internal security apparatus in the world, to ensure that our Corporations will gain the same rights as the natural person and finally the creation of a biblical paradise one that we can all be proud of instead of the heretical society that we all live in today. I Mitt Romney promise once elected all of this will go into effect immediately, because time is of the essence and it is something that we do not have enough. I Mitt Romney will make us all proud, thank you so much my friends for giving me the chance Good night and God Bless America